just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
