I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize