Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
