I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
