just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
