these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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