how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Randomize
