thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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