i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
