Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
