Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
