please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
