would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
