Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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