we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
the raccoons are back...
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