R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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