Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
