you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
