You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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