Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
