I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
