Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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