It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize