I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
