I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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