I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
