My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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