The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
