If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So vagazzling was a success
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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