I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
