Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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