Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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