I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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