you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
