Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
