we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
