I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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