Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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