I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
