I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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