this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
