My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize