She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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