Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize