with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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