At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
