I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
