the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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