We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
