Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
