Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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