My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
