did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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