If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
