Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
