y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
