he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
