Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
