im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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