Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize
