I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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