i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
