So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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