i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
