Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
