there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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