By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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