Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
