How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
